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Jilly Gagnon: Recipe For A Perfect Thanksgiving
Your easy-to-follow recipe for the perfect Thanksgiving celebration: Ingredients : 3 couples + host couple, childless variety. (For best effect, everyone should be old friends, barring whichever bitchy, shallow girl Jim is dating at the moment - honestly, why does he keep going after ...
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Steve Marmel: Sarah Palin + Thanksgiving + One Year = Still Funny
It was a little more than a year ago that John McCain introduced Sarah Palin to us, the final nail in the coffin of his presidential campaign. As comedians, and humorists, let us take a moment and be thankful - for all she has given us in the past, and all she will give us in ...
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Sybil Adelman Sage: Craigslist: Job at White House
Gatekeeper needed immediately.  -Must be able to stay awake during shift -Someone who can distinguish invited guests from party crashers -Demonstrate ability to read names on list -Entry level position   Salary TBD
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Man Vs. Toddler: The Final Battle (VIDEO)
Barats and Bereta, the guys who brought us Cubicle War 2006 , are back with a new video that answers the age-old question: Is a grown man or tiny child better at life? Sadly, we're pretty sure posing the question is an answer in and of itself but that should in no way stop you from watching ...
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Mark C. Miller: Ommmmm... In The Mood For Meditation
Although meditation has been described as a reflective mode of thought, a more accurate definition would be a mode of "no thought," not unlike that of an employee at the Department of Motor Vehicles. The goal of meditation is to journey to a quiet place beyond the thought-filled mind. When we ...
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Politicians Who Look Like Turkeys (PHOTOS)
Is it just us, or is the political scene overrun by guys who look like turkeys? It's probably just us, but we thought we'd compile our favorites.
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Biden Pardons Single Yam In Vice Presidential Thanksgiving Ritual
WASHINGTON -- In keeping with a longstanding Thanksgiving tradition, Vice President Joe Biden ceremonially pardoned a 4-pound yam today at a ceremony in the White House Rose Garden.
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Chris Kelly: A Rogue Thanksgiving
Negotiations for my new contract were going on when I received a telephone call from my brother on a Sunday morning telling me that the Japanese had bombed Pearl Harbor. Very shortly I started another picture costarring with Errol Flynn. - Ronald Reagan, An American Life I don't know if ...
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Spray-On Jesus (PHOTO)
Here what we know: -Jesus is in a can -Jesus is bleeding -There's now 20% more Jesus. Here's what we don't know: -How Jesus got in the can. -Whether or not Jesus appears when you spray this. -Who handles Jesus's PR. This seems like a horrible misstep in what seemed to be an otherwise ...
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White House Spoofs Turkey Pardoning Ceremony (VIDEO)
The White House had a little fun this year with the turkey pardon, filming a trailer for the event ahead of time with deeply dramatic editing and music. The actual event turned out to be way more light-hearted than the preview suggested, but for the turkeys involved the view may have been ...
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Improv Group Ballroom Waltzes Through Supermarket (VIDEO)
It's feels like it's been forever since we've seen some quality supermarket ballroom dancing. GueriLA, a west coast counterpart to Improv Everywhere , changes that with their latest mission. Taking over a supermarket, the dancers waltz through the produce section and bring all shopping to a ...
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The Beatles: A Retrospective From The Year 3000 (VIDEO)
How will we look back at The Beatles in 1000 years? How will John Lennon, Paul Mackenzie, George Hutchinson, and Scottie Pippen stand the test of time? This retrospective from the year 3000 fills us in (though it seems that the details from the 20th century as a whole have become a bit cloudy). ...
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Angry Comcast Worker Calls Ex A "Whore" In Program Info (PHOTO)
Comcast subscribers were in a for a pleasant (?) surprise when tuning into "Rock of Love" recently. An apparently bitter employee used the program's info as an outlet for his built-up resentment toward an ex-girlfriend. We don't know if she, too, is a Comcast subscriber, just that she's a ...
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The Muppets Do "Bohemian Rhapsody" (VIDEO)
When you think of "Bohemian Rhapsody" you probably think of Queen (or Maybe "Wayne's World") but you definitely don't think "Muppets"...until now. "Mommaaaaaa, momma?" Animal sings earnestly while banging away on his 7-piece drum set. All of the Muppets seriously threw down to make this amazing ...
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Strip Club Accepting Toys In Exchange For Lap Dances (PHOTO)
Come to help children in need, stay for the...nudity. According to their sign, Market Street Cinema (aka a San Francisco strip club) is currently offering the deal of the holiday season: donate an unwrapped toy and get and get an unwrapped woman. The sign kicks off with "It's That Time of ...
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Robin Williams Takes On Sarah Palin (VIDEO)
Robin Williams stopped by the "Late Show" this week to promote his new movie "Old Dogs" and ended up trying out some Palin material. "It's wonderful, I went looking for her book and I found it in the fantasy aisle. With Sarah you get the feeling she was voted least likely to write a book and ...
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Andy Borowitz: Palin Issues Thankfulnesses List
WASILLA (The Borowitz Report): One day before Thanksgiving, Former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin today issued the following "thankfulnesses list": This being my list of the thankfulnesses I'm tapping into this year... I have thankfulness that we have a President who is learning to celebrate ...
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The Side-Hug: Youth Group Puts Down Sinful "Front-Hugs" With Rap (VIDEO)
Christian youth groups finally have an alternative to normal, aka "front," hugs. As we all know, face to face embraces run the horrific risk of a clothed crotch graze. The Christian Side-Hug (or the CSH, as the kids call it) rids us of sin, as the only below the belt contact will be some good ...
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"Glimmers Of Hope": Geithner Goes Gospel To Make Us Feel Better About The Economy (VIDEO)
With Barney Frank laying down the beat and a gospel chorus singing backup, Harry Shearer has taken over the body of Secretary of the Treasury Timothy Geithner for the music video, "Glimmers of Hope." Singing the inspirational lyrics "A vision that shimmers/Business that simmers/As lively as ...
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Andy Borowitz: Lou Dobbs Urged to Run for President by Imaginary Friend
NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report) - Former CNN host Lou Dobbs said today that he was seriously considering running for President after being urged to do so by an imaginary friend. In a conference call with reporters, Mr. Dobbs said that he had not thought about seeking public office until his ...
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